Encouragement vs Praise
Encouragement vs Praise Rudolf Dreikurs taught, “A child needs encouragement like a plant needs water.” In other words, encouragement is essential. Children may not die without encouragement, but they certainly wither. Since encouragement is so essential, it would be good for parents to know what encouragement means and how to do it. Let’s start with […]
Break the Code of Misbehavior
Break the Code of Misbehavior When children are misbehaving, they are speaking to adults in code. A misbehaving child is a discouraged child. The primary goal of all children is to feel a sense of belonging and significance. Too often they form a mistaken belief about how to seek belonging and significance—as explained in the Mistaken […]
Limited Choices
Limited Choices Offering limited choices instead of making demands can be very effective. Children often respond to choices when they will not respond to demands, especially when you follow the choice with, “You decide.” Choices should be respectful and should focus attention on the needs of the situation. Choices are directly related to responsibility. Younger […]
Decide What You Will Do
Decide What You Will Do The Jones family is very excited. They have just finished planning a day at the beach. Seven-year-old Jason and five-year-old Jenny have promised that they won’t fight. Mr. Jones, has warned, “If you do, we’ll turn around and come back.” “We won’t, we won’t,” promise Jason and Jenny again. The […]
Kind and Firm Parenting
Kind and Firm Parenting A foundation of Positive Discipline is to be kind and firm at the same time. Some parents are kind, but not firm. Others are firm, but not kind. Many parents vacillate between the two—being too kind until they can’t stand their kids (who develop an entitlement attitude) and then being too […]
Family Meetings
Family Meetings It is difficult for me to choose a favorite Positive Discipline parenting tool, but family meetings are at the top. Children learn so much during family meetings, such as listening, respecting differences, verbalizing appreciation, problem-solving, focusing on solutions, and experiencing that mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn. I have a much longer list, […]
Connection Before Correction
Connection Before Correction The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn’t know what this meant as a young mother, and didn’t create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel […]
52 Positive Discipline Parenting Tools in 52 Weeks
52 Positive Discipline Parenting Tools in 52 Weeks Take the 52 Parenting Tools in 52 Weeks Challenge. This is a fun way to stay focused on Positive Discipline all year long. We hope you will participate and post comments about your own experiences. You can get a copy of the Positive Discipline Parenting Tool Cards and/or download the App […]
A History of Positive Discipline
A History of Positive Discipline Positive Discipline is based on the philosophy and teachings of Alfred Adler and Rudolph Dreikurs. I was not privileged to study under either of these great men, but I would like to acknowledge the people who introduced me to the Adlerian approach. It has changed my life and greatly improved […]
Family Chores
Family Chores By Brad Ainge, Co-Author of Positive Discipline Parenting Tools Children learn life skills, develop social interest, and feel capable by helping out at home. 1) Brainstorm a family job list together. 2) Create fun ways to rotate jobs, such as a job wheel with a spinner, job charts, or a job jar for “fishing” […]
