One Word
One Word Avoid lecturing and nagging. Use one word as a kind reminder. When agreements are made together in advance, one word is often all that needs to be said.
The Power of Nonverbal Communication
The Power of Nonverbal Communication by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Cheryl Erwin, and Roslyn Ann Duffy Adults and children express emotional energy on their faces, in their voices, and in the way they move or stand. Because children are still developing their language skills, they trust the message of this nonverbal communication far more than they […]
THE ART OF ACTIVE LISTENING
THE ART OF ACTIVE LISTENING Active (or reflective) listening is an effective tool of communication. One that will serve you well as you parent your child and (sooner than you may think) the adolescent that child will become. Active listening is the art of observing and listening to feelings, then reflecting them back. Active listening does not […]
I love you, AND the answer is, “No.”
I love you, AND the answer is, “No.” Rudolf Dreikurs taught the importance of being both Kind and Firm in our relations with children. Kindness is important in order to show respect for the child. Firmness is important in order to show respect for ourselves and for the needs of the situation. Authoritarian methods usually lack kindness. […]
18 WAYS TO AVOID POWER STRUGGLES
18 WAYS TO AVOID POWER STRUGGLES Power struggles create distance and hostility instead of closeness and trust. Distance and hostility create resentment, resistance, rebellion (or compliance with lowered self-esteem). Closeness and trust create a safe learning environment. You have a positive influence only in an atmosphere of closeness and trust where there is no fear […]
Teaching Responsibility: When Does it Happen?
Teaching Responsibility: When Does it Happen? I have been hearing questions such as… “How can I get my two-year-old to pick up his toys by himself?” (You can’t.) “Why does my teenager say she’ll empty the garbage and then avoid doing it unless I nag?” (She has a gazillion other life questions plaguing her.) “Why […]
2018 in Review
2018 in Review I am excited (and a bit overwhelmed) with all of the progress we made in 2018, and the many projects we have planned for 2019. I’ll be turning 82 this year and I am more energetic than ever about Positive Discipline! The growth of Positive Discipline around the world is awe inspiring […]
CURIOSITY QUESTIONS
CURIOSITY QUESTIONS Helping children explore the consequences of their choices is much different from imposing consequences on them. Exploring invites the participation of children to think for themselves and figure out the consequences of their choice, to decide what is important to them, and how to achieve what they want. The end result is focusing on solutions to the problem instead […]
Positive Time-Out
Positive Time-Out Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and saying, “I don’t […]
Children DO Better When They FEEL Better
Children DO Better When They FEEL Better Where did we ever get the crazy idea that to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better? Take time to close your eyes and […]
