Things Often Get Worse Before They Get Better

by Dr. Jane Nelsen

Remember this point so that you won’t become discouraged. Children quite often don’t trust that adults are really willing to listen to them and take them seriously. It may take some time for them to get used to this. At first they may try to use this new power to be hurtful and punishing, because this is the model they have been used to.

Children are used to getting certain responses from adults. When we change our responses, they will probably exaggerate their behavior (get worse) in their effort to get us to respond like we are supposed to. This is the kick the soda machine effect. When we put money in the soda machine and a soda doesn’t come out, we kick and pound to try and get it to do what it is supposed to do.