Taming Temper Tantrums

I was in a mall store with my son who was about 16-17 months old and was a pretty talented tantrum thrower. He didn’t have a problem walking around the mall; he just hated going into the actual stores; so I could count on him to get upset when we walked in. We went into one particular store, and he started the tantrum and fell out on the floor kicking and screaming. I had been doing some reading “The Happiest Toddler on the Block” by Harvey Karp, MD, about coping with tantrums and learned that I needed to validate his feelings, and since he would not be likely to understand my verbal validation, I needed to show him with my own tone and affect that I was hearing him. So, I sat on the floor (in front of God and everyone) and said, “Jayden, you’re mad. You’re mad, mad mad! You’re so mad.” I used a tone that mirrored, but didn’t mock, his tantrum tone. He stopped, looked at me as if to say, “She gets it,” and then crawled into my lap and gave me a big hug! We sat there for a few minutes, and to my surprise, he was patient for the rest of the short time we were in that store! After that, I guess to show him that I respected his feelings; we cut the shopping trip short.