Strong Willed or Age Appropriate?

Question:

Hopefully you can help me in this situation. I am a mother of two wonderful boys ages 6 1/2 and 4. They are both very head strong and stubborn, not a bad quality for when they get older. My older son is in 1st grade and he is doing well, he knows the work. We had a tutor in the summer to reinforce kindergarten and prepare him for 1st, a teacher from the school. I was told he did not need a tutor but decided 1 day a week was good for him. I believe boys you can not let them lay stagnant all summer. The tutor advised that he was more then ready to move to 1st. But she was strict with him when he didn’t feel like doing the work (that’s where the strong willed comes in) like we are at home. Problem is he is in first grade does the work but not when the teacher tells him to. I find that the teachers who have children of their own understand. This teacher is a wonderful teacher, but very soft spoken. She has told me that my son loves the one on one attention, but there are 24 children in his class. I guess because I give him the one on one at home. She has told my husband and I that he is a good child—respectful, kind, very well mannered. But how do I get him to listen and do what is asked of him not when he feels like it, without changing his personality. I was wandering if a male teacher would work best? There are a few that teach 2nd grade. My 4 yr old is stubborn also. These children are well mannered respectful children. I believe a lot of it is maturity. I spoke to my pediatrician and was advised that there is no medical problem it is just sheer strong will. I would appreciate any help you can give me, I am Mom who loves her children and just wants to handle this the right way.