Spousal Conflict in Front of Children

Question:

What are some different and creative ways to handle conflict in front of the children between you and your spouse?

Thank You,
Theresa 

Answer:

Respectfully. I could just leave it at that, but too many people don’t know what respect looks like. A few suggestions:

1. Children need to know that feelings are always okay (but what you DO is not always okay), so don’t hide your own feelings. And, this means all feelings.
2. When you are angry, use emotional honesty and say, “I’m really angry right now.” Note that I didn’t suggest saying, “YOU make me so angry.”
3. Since we expect children to control their behavior (the DO part), it would be nice to model that for them. “I’m so angry that I had better take some time out and wait until I calm down so we can work on a solution that is respectful to everyone.”