This tool card provides an example of asking for a hug when a child is having a temper tantrum, but that is certainly not the only time a hug can be an appropriate intervention when you understand the principle of hugs. Later, I’ll share where the example on the card came from; but first I want to share another example.

The Power of a Hug

My daughter, who is a wonderfully strong-willed six-year-old child, didn’t want to get up and get ready for school one morning. Being a strong-willed individual myself, I could sense a battle of wills brewing—though I was determined to avoid it.  I repeatedly asked her nicely to get up and get herself ready. I even picked out her clothes so she could move a little faster [a mistake that will be explained later]. Still, she refused to move.  I reminded her, still nicely, that the bus would be at our house soon, and if she didn’t get dressed she was going to miss it.

She sat up, looked at her clothes, and screamed, “I don’t want to wear that!”  Her tone was so nasty that I found it hard to keep myself composed, but I went to her room and picked out two other outfits so she could choose which one she wanted to wear.  I announced to her, “I laid out three sets of clothes. You need to pick one and get dressed.”  I had almost made it to the bedroom exit when she fired back “I WANT FOUR!”