Family Meeting Gone Bad

Question:

Hi Jane,

I was hoping you could help me out here.

In the beginning of Chapter 9 “Family Meetings” in your book “Positive Discipline” there is an example of a family who came up with a solution to things not being picked up, cleaned up, etc. They used a plan with a “safe deposit box” where anyone could pick up something left on the floor and put it in this box in the garage, where contents would be on hold for one week.

I have three children 14, 12, and 9. I planned a similar exercise with them. However, the exercise quickly became competitive and if one of the kids had taken off their shoes to watch TV and stepped out to go to the bathroom, another would seized the opportunity to make off with the shoes. For the next two days, I became the referee of minor infractions, such as, “does it count if I leave the room to go to the bathroom but am coming right back?” When I told them it was OK if you were going to the bathroom and coming right back, the rule started to be distorted and abused in several variations.