Empowering vs Enabling Success Story

Why is it so much easier to “enable” than to empower? Enabling is adult behavior that puts the parent between the child and life experiences to minimize the consequences of the child’s choices. Enabling includes rescuing, over-protecting, and controlling without involving the child in problem solving. Enabling behavior encourages an unhealthy dependence in children and prevents them from learning to do things for themselves.

Many parents enable their children in the name of love. They do not look at the long-term results. They don’t consider what their children are deciding about themselves and about what to do in the future (based on their decisions). They may be deciding, “I’m not capable.” “It is best to let others take care of me.” “You can’t make me,” etc. It is important to know that adults do not necessarily feel comfortable with empowering statements and actions until they really understand the long-term benefits.