Dealing With a Strong-Willed 3-Year-Old

Question:

You mentioned family meetings as an approach to dealing with a strong-willed child, but indicated that it works for children 4 and older. What about a strong-willed 3-yr-old who absolutely has to have everything her own way and goes completely ballistic if we don’t do exactly what she expects?

Answer:

There are many factors that could be involved in your situation. You could be contributing to “power struggles” through your discipline methods. (I don’t know, because you didn’t tell me what you do.) Often, children who rebel have parents who use controlling methods. Your child’s temperament is another factor. Another is your child’s stage of emotional and psychological development—the stage of initiative vs. guilt, according to Erik Erickson. There are other factors, but let’s put these three together and see how they might influence behavior and discipline.