Cries at Preschool

Question:

Hello Jane,

I have a 4.5 year old boy and he refuses to go to school. Actually it’s a daycare program that’s run by 2 of my best friends so I know it’s a safe and loving environment. I enrolled him for 3 afternoons a week to socialize with other children his age and also to prepare him for kindergarten in the fall. He’s never had issues with leaving us or being on his own until daycare. I am now attending daycare with him in order to help him feel safe and hopefully make it his decision to stay but this is costly because on top of the cost for school I am paying for a sitter for my other son at home.

I don’t know which direction to take this. My concern is him becoming overly dependent on me—somehow stunting his independence and social skills. We tried forcing him to go and just dropping him off at the door and it was horrible for everyone involved. He cried and screamed for the entire time—which was disruptive for all of the other students and so traumatizing for us and him. It made him even more clingy and needy then I’ve ever seen before.