Child Discipline: To Punish or Not

What do you think of when you hear the word “discipline”? Most people think of punishment. I invite you to think a little deeper starting with the exploration of the long-term results of punishment.

When children are punished they do not learn self-discipline. Punishment provides “external” motivation. Self-discipline requires “inner” motivation. When children are punished they either comply to avoid the punishment (and may become approval junkies), or they may get sneaky and do all they can to avoid getting caught. They may they blatantly rebel—resulting in endless power-struggles with their parents. Then parents complain about the behavior of their children without taking responsibility for their part—how they invited the power struggles by using ineffective discipline methods (punishment).