The Importance of Connection
The Importance of Connection by Dr. Jane Nelsen “You have to reach the heart before you can reach the head.” I first heard this statement while reading an article about Carter Bayton in a September, 1991 issue of Life Magazine. Carter Bayton was asked to work with thirteen 2nd grade boys who were considered so […]
Things Often Get Worse Before They Get Better
Things Often Get Worse Before They Get Better by Dr. Jane Nelsen Remember this point so that you won’t become discouraged. Children quite often don’t trust that adults are really willing to listen to them and take them seriously. It may take some time for them to get used to this. At first they may […]
Positive Discipline Online Class – Routine Charts
Positive Discipline Online Class – Routine Charts by Pamela Laney One of my LEAST favorite duties as a parent was the constant “reminding” that happened every day: This constant flow of “helpful prompts” made me feel like a nag, made my son feel defeated, and left both of us exhausted. And then I took a […]
Listen
Listen by Dr. Jane Nelsen When parents say, “My child doesn’t listen,” what they really mean is that my child doesn’t obey.” Parents give orders and children resist orders—just as their parent most likely would. If you are experiencing power-struggles with your children, take a look at your part in creating the power-struggle. Most kids […]
Small Steps
Small Steps As parents, we can of course do everything better and quicker than our children. But how does this help your child? You have to decide if perfection and expediency are more important than encouraging your child to develop a deep belief in his or her capability. Parents may not realize that doing too […]
Tone of Voice
Tone of Voice Have you noticed how terrible it feels to listen to another parent scold a child? Because you are not emotionally involved, you notice the shrinking posture of the child and empathize with the shame and discouragement he or she must be feeling.
Gemeinschaftsgefühl
Gemeinschaftsgefühl A Message from Dr. Jane Nelsen German Gemeinschaftsgefühl, from Gemeinschaft (“community, neighborship”) + Gefühl (“feeling”) (literally) “Community feeling” or “social interest”; used by Adlerian psychologists to describe the state of social connectedness and interest in the well-being of others that characterizes psychological health. During this challenging time, I would like to share what I learned from our Chinese friends. The government […]
How Do You Spend Time That Counts?
How Do You Spend Time That Counts? DURING THE TEEN years, when your children spend less and less time with you, it’s more important than ever to connect in ways that really count. Unfortunately, there are several conditions that make quality time especially difficult to achieve: busy schedules, teenagers’ preference to be with their friends, […]
Parenting Teens: How Do You Know When Your Child Becomes a Teen?
Parenting Teens: How Do You Know When Your Child Becomes a Teen? The following is an excerpt from the book, Positive Discipline for Teenagers by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott. You know you have a teenager when you hear yourself complaining, “She has no purpose. He won‘t help. She only cares about her friends. He is so self-centered. Her room […]
7 Tips for a Happy, Successful School Year
7 Tips for a Happy, Successful School Year For many children and their parents, returning to school is a joyful occasion—reconnecting with school friends and families, the excitement of purchasing school supplies and new clothes, the return to the comfort and normalcy of the school routine, and, of course, the gift of a little breathing […]
