Using Candles to Deal with the Belief Behind the Behavior - Hilda Statz

There is a belief behind every behavior, but we usually only deal with the behavior. Dealing with the belief behind the behavior does not mean you don’t deal with the behavior. You are most effective when you are aware of both the behavior and the belief behind it.

The following is a classic example of the belief behind a behavior. Suppose you have a four-year-old boy whose mother goes off to the hospital and brings home a brand-new baby. What does the four-year-old see going on between Mom and the baby? — Time and attention. What does your son interpret that to mean? — Mom loves the baby more than me. What does the four-year-old do in an attempt to get the love back? — He may act like a baby himself and cry a lot, ask for a bottle, and soil his pants.