Forgetful

Question:

I *love* your Positive Discipline book and am trying to incorporate it, one step at a time, into my own parenting. But I have this one on going problem that I just don’t know how to handle. My 10 year old daughter is ‘forgetful’. In other words, she forgets to do the dishes. She forgets that I had told her no TV today and asks her father, who lets her since he did not yet know that I had denied it. She forgets that she’s supposed to make her bed. She forgets that she has to have a clean room before inviting friends over. Some of these situations have clear consequences…if your room is not fit for visitors, you can’t have any. If you run out and play without having made your bed, I’m going to call you in to do it. Today, for instance, I walked in, she was watching TV, I told her to turn it off, we had a quick dialog remembering the TV rule for the day and that was that. But she forgets things quite frequently – I think she thinks she really has forgotten; I don’t get the sense that she’s being dishonest about it – and has since she could speak, pretty much. I know that we need to beware of that which works quickly, but WHEN will she begin remembering?? I’m worn out and more than a little despondent about the number of times that she ‘forgets’ something. The possibility of this behavior having its roots in rebellion (of the passive aggressive sort)or attention-seeking seem most likely to me, yet concentrated efforts in those areas have not seemed to help. Discussions (I didn’t think itfair to air it at a family meeting since it usually only involves me and her) towards the matter in a calm time haven’t helped. Are there other techniques in your bag of tricks that may help with this?? Any insight you might provide would be most welcome; thank you! Suzanne