Power Struggles with a 3 ½ yr. old

Dear Jane,

Wow, thank you so much for the good advice on how to respond to the name calling.Your approach is very sensible.I have taken the RCB and Developing Capable People classes and have found them to be very enlightening.

I do have another issue with my 3 ½ yr. old daughter, Ellen, that I would like some help with. Ellen gets really upset when I put a limit on her activities. For example, tonight I let her paint with her water colors at the counter while I made dinner. She was painting fine for a few minutes, then she wanted to paint her hand, “ok”, then her face, “ok”, then her sister, “no”, etc. I finally said, “I am not willing to let you paint anything other than your paper, hand and face, and if you ask for more, the paints go up. “Of course, she asked to paint her feet. When I reminded her of what would happen if she asked for more, she got even more insistent. I took the paints away.She then attacked me with the stool and bit me. I was so angry, I put her on the couch for a time out. She wouldn’t stay, so I put her outside. I know I probably didn’t handle it well, but I just don’t know what to do when she tries to hurt me or her little sister. Please help me with how I can avoid this problem and how to deal with her when she is in a fit of rage.