Child Won’t Leave When it is Time to Go

Question:

I am a single mother and have one 5-year-old son, Sean. Last night, I attended a seminar with Jane Nelsen after working all day. While I was at the seminar, Sean was at a drop in day care (Klubhouse) that stays open into the late evening. I have used this place before. Sean loves it there and he loves the care provider. My problem is I always have a power struggle with him when its time to leave, whether it’s the Klubhouse, or his everyday care provider, or leaving the park — wherever.

I’ve tried using “consequences” with him, which is usually removing a privilege (story time, bedtime songs, a favorite toy, etc.) it doesn’t always work, and never works the first time I ask. Last night leaving the Klubhouse was particularly bad — I’m crying as I recount this to you. When I arrived to get him last night, Sean asked if he could stay 2 more minutes to play Nintendo. I agreed. During those 2 minutes, I paid the bill and used the restroom. Then I told Sean “Okay, honey, your 2 minutes are up. Time to go.” To which he responded “I want to play some more — just one more time.” I said no and when he wouldn’t leave the machine, I shut it off, took out the cartridge and said “Sean, its time to leave. The place is closing.” (which was true). So he got up and headed for the front door, but instead darted off into the TV room which had a movie playing. So I shut off the TV (while he screamed about it) and told him he could watch a cartoon once we got home. Then Sean just huddled in the corner and said “I don’t want to go home.” You get the picture.