When are Children Old Enough to Participate in Family Meetings?

Question:

Jane – How old do you suggest children be to start family meetings? My boys are 3 1/2 and 5 years old. I’d like to start family meetings to discuss issues that need to be addressed and get the boys involved, but I’m thinking they may be too young. Thanks.

Julie

Answer:

Hi Julie, Your 5-year-old is definitely old enough. Only you will be able to tell if the 3 1/2 year old is old enough? The magic age seems to be 4. It is very important to start family meetings as soon after 4 as possible so children start learning to use their power in useful ways and to develop the belief, “I am capable.” This will eliminate many power struggles, and 4-year-olds are so good at problem-solving when given the opportunity.

You might find the following excerpt from Positive Discipline handy for getting started: