Avoiding Barriers

Do you create any of the following barriers regularly with someone you love? Do you believe that if you worked at it you could use them less often? Let’s look at an example as a means of understanding the barriers and builders. Suppose four-year-old Linda becomes stuck when her tricycle wheel runs off the sidewalk. There are several ways a parent could handle this situation that would decrease feelings of capability:

Directing: “Don’t just sit there and cry. Get off and push the tricycle back on the sidewalk.” Directing children through each step instead of exploring how a task can be accomplished sends the message that children are incapable of doing the task on their own without specific directions.