Listen

by Dr. Jane Nelsen

When parents say, “My child doesn’t listen,” what they really mean is that my child doesn’t obey.” Parents give orders and children resist orders—just as their parent most likely would. If you are experiencing power-struggles with your children, take a look at your part in creating the power-struggle.

Most kids don’t listen to parents because parents talk too much and don’t give children a good model of what listening is about. Children learn what they live. How can they learn to listen if parents don’t model what listening looks like? Children will listen to you AFTER they feel listened to. Most kids cover their ears when the lectures start. They may not have the courage to do it physically, but they find other ways to “tune out.”