4.5 year old who talks back
Question:
How should I handle a 4.5 year old who talks back to me?
Answer:
I decided to answer your question by sending you another excerpt from Positive Discipline A-Z on disrespect.
DISRESPECT
My child is often disrespectful to me. She talks back in a sassy manner, yells at me, and sometimes calls me names. The more I punish her, the worse it gets.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD, YOURSELF, AND THE NEEDS OF THE SITUATION:
Children learn from the examples around them. Too many parents expect their children to be respectful when they are not respectful to their children. Punishment is not respectful.
SUGGESTIONS:
- In a calm, respectful voice tell your child, “If I have ever spoken to you that way, I apologize. I don’t want to hurt you or be hurt by you. Can we start over?”
- Say, “You are obviously very upset right now. I know it upsets me when you talk that way. Let’s both take some time out to calm down. We can talk later when we feel better.”
- If this is a recurring problem, put it on the family meeting agenda for discussion. Sometimes a discussion is enough to create awareness and invite cooperation to stop the problem. Another possibility is to say what you will do. “When you talk disrespectfully to me, I will take care of myself and leave the room. I love you and want to listen to you when you are ready to talk respectfully. I love myself enough to walk away from verbal abuse.”
- Calmly leave the room without saying a word. If your child follows, go for a walk or get into the shower. After a cooling-off period, ask, “Are you ready to talk with me now?”
